tired + curious

The creation of human existence must serve a greater purpose to this thing we call life. May the creator of this impeccable concept shape a jubilant existence in the midst of all that exists.

⸻

Navigating this sophisticated world full of deception, mockery, love, and manipulation, has become a quiet study of mine. I truly believe only the greatest and bravest souls choose to come here, to exist and live on Earth.

Lately, I’ve taken the plunge to consciously celebrate being alive each day. It’s become a new ritual.

A feeling is fleeting. It visits in waves of existentialism and exhaustion.

Despite that, I’m learning to express this celebration outside of birthdays. Slowing down + Acknowledging the accomplishment of simply making it another day. Sharing that space with myself, and sometimes others.

I’ve been quietly dissecting how my mind works. How the world works. The ways I’ve been controlled—and continue to be. I’m beginning to understand how I can shift and step outside the systems I didn’t choose.

It’s unsettling to live in a place so drenched in propaganda, where manipulation is dressed up as convenience or care. This new world lacks boundaries, with conditioning that appears right at your doorstep.

This constant responsibility to be discerning—

To dissect what’s being fed to you.

When sometimes, it’s easier to just eat.

I’ve felt the urge to leave this planet—not from a desire to die, but from the need to rest. To find stillness somewhere untouched by corrosion and control. Just space to be.

Studying the nature of human behavior has offered me clarity, but also brought resentment toward those who’ve manipulated me both knowingly and unknowingly.

Still, this knowledge has given me a cloak I didn’t have before. A layer of protection I wasn’t handed by my parents.

Now, I breathe deeper.

Understanding this can and has quietly become my superpower.

-Pharyn